Day 65: Small update, in more ways than one!

Righto – just a brief one.  I’ve given the blog a Christmas theme.  Mostly because it’s dark enough outside without me having to look at a black and grey blog, and also because obviously, Christmas is on it’s way in a few weeks.  It’s a hard time to be dieting, no chocolate or goodies and only something vaguely resembling a Christmas dinner.  I’m glad I’m not having a soup or shake for lunch on Christmas day though, that’d would’ve turned me insane, I’m certain of it.

Anyway, one week of Route to Management out of the way, and I lost 1lb last week.  Nothing to go crazy about but I am still losing and apparently I can expect 1-3lb losses a week, sometimes with no loss etc so I have to take the rough with the smooth.  It’s good to eat, I even felt full after a mostly-lettuce based salad last night and couldn’t finish it.  What progress!

Day 58: The Route to Management?

Firstly, apologies for the late update again this week – but it’ll be worth the wait – read on!..

… A lot has happened since I last blogged, about my desire to carry on for a further six weeks in development after my initial 8 week foundation stage.  I had one hard day too many, and last Friday night decided enough was enough.   I talked to my girlfriend and parents about where I’m at and that I’ve not had any counseling as part of my Lighter Life journey.  This counseling is essential now I feel.  I completed 8 whole weeks of abstinence, no food at all, not even one small nibble.  However I couldn’t cope with weekends and was finding it far too hard.  I’ve had no techniques from the counseling to help me deal with these emotions and it simply got to the point where it had become too tiring to slog on supporting myself for another six weeks.  I had to eat something.

I made the decision to start the Route to Management part of the programme this past Monday.  This would be the start of 12 weeks of reintroducing my food very gradually but would at least mean I can have something.  The ideal way to do this is to get down to your target weight before going on RTM but I couldn’t wait any longer.

At my meeting on Monday, I had lost another 5lb, bringing me to a total loss of 3st 4lb in 8 weeks, and bringing me down to just about 16st, from 19st 7lb.  I’m happy with that, the difference in me, physically and mentally, is staggering, and I’m rather proud I achieved that on my own steam.  I’m feeling pretty happy as I am, but I’d be lying if I wouldn’t be happier at around 14st.  The plan is to loose maybe another stone through RTM, and if I need to loose that little extra, weight watchers and exercise.  Now I’ve got the bulk off and feel human, it seems pretty easy to do something like WW for a while after not eating for two months…

So the last few evenings I’ve been eating my single portion of ‘protein’ as a meal.  Namely, I’ve been eating chicken breasts.  I’ve had one a night, and the first was the tastiest, juiciest bit of chook I’ve ever had the pleasure to eat.  Strangely, with that single piece of chicken, I felt well fed, and satisfied, and that has given me the confidence to stick rigidly to the RTM plan.  I can see this working out pretty well!
Overall, Lighter Life has been great for getting my mindset changed to eating healthily, I’ve got a whole new approach to my diet and feel great about what I’ve achieved.  Sadly, the counseling seems to be very lacking for the Men Only groups (not everywhere, it seems individual to certain LLCs) and this has been my only barrier to achieving the ‘perfect’ result.  But rest assured – I feel strong enough to get there in my own way now.
Thanks for your continued support – I’ll continue with my story as long as people are reading it!

S

Day 50: The last week of Foundation.

Week 8, the end of the ‘foundation’ stage of Lighter Life for Men.  At my Week 7 weigh-in this past Monday I’ve apparently lost another 5lb bringing me to a weight of 16st 8lb. My total loss in seven weeks was 2st 13lb which is one single bloody pound away from 3st.  That’s irritating, but I’m happy in the knowledge that I’ve lost more than 3st now, as it’s Wednesday, and I got weight two days ago

The past week has been much better than the week prior.  My mood has lifted and I’ve found it easier.  The novelty of this way of living has totally died off now however and I’m increasingly looking forward to getting on the track to a normal, healthy way of eating.  My plans for the next few weeks however have changed somewhat…

… Thinking back you may remember that one of my initial hangups about this was dealing with Christmas dinner.  Whether I’d be able to eat it or not.  I think mentally, it would be too tough on the emotions for me not to enjoy some form of Christmas dinner with the family, it’s a strong tradition to break, and quite possibly, one too many.  I’m already missing out on family meals and won’t be able to go for a meal with my girlfriend when I take her to London in a couple of weeks.  That’s hard enough.

So, as my foundation period is up at the end of this weekend, I’ve made a decision.  As I’ve never been fully convinced by getting down to the 12st region, I’ve always had a fairly loose overall weight loss target.  I’ve decided instead, that after this week, I will continue on development (basically, as I am now) for a further six weeks.  This means by early December I can start on the Route to Management plan and have some form of food on Christmas Day.  Also, If I continue to lose an average of 4/5lb per week over those six weeks, then I’m still in line to get down to around 14st.  This seems like a pretty average number for a guy of my ‘build’ and most male friends say this seems to be a good target too.  Like I say, I’m going for another six weeks, then I’ll just be happy with whatever I get.

I’m told you will still lose some weigh in Route to Management anyway.

Phew, now I’ve rambled through that lot -
Back in real life, I treated myself to a new pair of Levi’s at the weekend, and I got in a 38″ waist pair for the first time since I was about 17!  Not only that, but I’m really having to pull my belt tight, so can’t be too far off of a 36″ waist   That is one AWESOME feeling.  Even managed to try on a Bench top (XL, but they are stupidly small) and it fitted! Didn’t buy it though.  I’m not used to spending ‘decent’ money on clothes because its so so rare I ever find anything that fits, and if it does, I never think it looks good, so I pretty much live in baggy jeans and XXL t-shirts, dirt cheap and out of shape.  That is changing!  I’m going on a shopping binge at the end of this, because I’ll pretty much need to replace my whole warderobe.  In fact, I already do – all my workshirts are massive on me!

Thanks for all your support so far folks, I’m #34 in the WordPress Top 100 Growing Blogs at the moment which is nice to see, so thank you for contiuning to follow me on my journey

S

Day 43: Entering… Week 7.

I’ve read on various places over the web about the dreaded Lighter Life Week 7 ‘Wall’.  Apparently at Week 7 is the point when, for some unknown reason, people have a really, really crap time.  Not just finding the programme tougher, but finding that they seem to have their lowest weekly loss.

I however, think I hit my wall a week early.  The past week has been absolutely dire, I’ve felt more down in the evenings than ever before and the temptation has been a real fight.  It’s a strange one that.  The desire to eat is ridiculously strong and yet I know if I do, I will have failed myself.  Something is keeping me from eating yet the drive to sit down to a meal is very intense.  Pretty inexplicable, in fact, reading that last paragraph back, it’s difficult to understand.

I think this feeling may have been intensified by my previous week’s weight loss of 4lb.  Not a bad loss by any means but my lowest yet.  I think I was constantly thinking throughout the last week that my losses have been dropping and that has made me feel it’s not worth the not eating.

However, I trundled along to my weigh-in last night and at the end of Week 6, I have lost a further 6lb!  This brings me to a total of 2st 8lb loss and has put me in the 16st range for the first time in years.  I now weigh 16st 13lb and my BMI is down to 32.

I’ve got a feeling of pride back, and that drive to succeed.  I now feel confident that I can hit my 3 stone loss by the end of foundation in two weeks time.  The photo I posted previously got me through the last week (the comparison was clear to me for the first time in ages) and this decent loss has motivated me to keep going.  I was down, but now I’m on the up again and it’s a good feeling.  I can happily say that I am back on track and that I’m heading to lose as much as possible and get into management so I can tuck into some chicken and veg, knowing I’m made a sensible decision.

Short and sweet this time, because I feel sometimes I’m banging on about stuff no-one reads!  I have however, managed to write some new comedy material in the last few days, so maybe I’ve just used up my word quota for this week already?

Best Wishes!

S

It’s me!

Not ‘official’ pics, but a decent illustration nonetheless

Day 38: Midway through Week 6

Right well, here I am on the Thursday of Week 6.  I had my Week 5 weigh-in on Monday night where I had lost 4lb (Total loss in five weeks = 2st 2lb) which was my lowest weekly loss yet, but still nothing to turn my nose up at.  I just hope I average at least that for the following three weeks to hit my 3st in the eight weeks of the ‘Foundation’ stage.

That’s the facts and figures out of the way.  I’ve found this past weekend and the last few days incredibly hard.  I’ve been sniffing food in the fridge, staring at pizza menus and generally pining for food.  Again, this isn’t through hunger, but desire so it’s a tough thing to control.  However, I have come out on top and have still managed to abstain from conventional food for 38 days.  I’m quite proud of that fact.  I felt like I could’ve lapsed in the past few days but the nearest I got was sniffing at some wafer-thin chicken I found in the fridge.  I think the amount of strength shown in not just sticking it in my mouth has actually shocked me a little bit!

The ‘counselling’ I receive at my LighterLife meetings has dropped off again, with my meetings mostly consisting of my LLC asking us how the week has been and how we’ve coped.  There are one or two guys there that have a tendancy to talk about food quite a lot and for some reason that is quite painful.  Strange that I can sit around and watch others eat, go food shopping and watch Britain’s Best Menu (something like that?) but when another fat bloke mentions kebabs with burger sauce I start to salivate??  The mind is a curious thing…

I’m a bit gutted that the advertised Cognitive Behavioral Therapy seems to be lacking and it seems men get the raw deal.  Women get the full two hours in-depth workgroup whereas the Men’s group (with my LLC at least) rarely lasts more than an hour and is mostly taken up with weighing and paying.  I think it’s a combination of the meeting being quite late at night (Men don’t start until 9pm) and by time any form of counseling could happen it’s pushing 10pm and people just want to go.  Bit of a bummer, I’m hoping it doesn’t affect my management when I’m back on food.

I’ve had a hectic time last weekend, the arrival of a new 8-week old puppy, a Chihuahua cross called Mabel, has dominated every waking hour, and some non-waking hours too.  She’s lovely, but a handful.  Must be like having a baby, but with sharper teeth.  Oh, plus baby’s have nappies and don’t lay cables straight on the floor…

As well as that, on Sunday, I picked up a 150Kg arcade machine for my games room, which is not only upstairs but the machine was also too deep to get around the bottom of my staircase.  This means it took four hours and a lot of heaving and wall-gouging with two mates to accomplish the feat.  However, we did it, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt so lightheaded and dizzy, prompted spent the rest of the day drinking water to try and get back on track!

I’ll leave it there for now – I will just add that on Monday just gone, I was given my front and side profile photographs from my first session before starting the programme.  The difference is dramatic even at the end of week five.  I’ll be uploading them hopefully in time for my next blog update.

Thanks for reading

S

Day 29: Week 4 – Rewards and Criticism…

I haven’t eaten for a month.  Four weeks.  Blimey.  I mean I’ve had one of the LL bars each day but they just taste like vitamins crumbled up and rolled in blu-tack anyway.  They don’t count as ‘food.’

I’ve been very up and down this past week.  I’m feeling better about my size than ever and I’m very driven to see this through now.  Mealtimes however, things change and I long to tuck into a plate of hot food alongside my girlfriend.  I’m not even wanting bad food, I could happily tuck into a nice plate of carrots, broccoli and a skinless chicken breast but alas, I must wait it out for a couple more months.

I do feel to some extent, that I’m over the ‘hump.’  Four weeks like this for me has been not only a huge personal achievement, but somewhat of an eye-opener of what I am capable of if I really want something.  Shame I have trouble applying this willpower in other aspects of my life.

The positive comments of close friends (thanks Roy!) are most encouraging and are now starting to far outweigh the odd negative or critical comment I receive.  Some people do have an initial reaction of jumping down my throat telling me what I am doing is dangerous and that I’ll just put the weight back on really quickly at the end.  These people are usually well overweight themselves – I think the fact that something can work this fast scares them?  I’m not sure – but I know I’ve got sick of explaining myself so now I don’t really bother.

The other people kind of make me laugh – people who have almost certainly never had a weight issue, or at least to any decent extent.  These are the people who just tell me to cut the crap out of my diet and exercise.  I’m so glad these people choose to enlighten me!  Who would’ve thought that a healthier diet and exercise would help me loose weight?  Gosh – what a revelation!

I think it’s clear that the fundamental idea of Lighter Life, or any VLCD, really doesn’t sit comfortably with people that haven’t researched it.  In a way, I think it’s a sad state of affairs that one of the hardest parts about this diet, is not sticking to it, but dealing with other people’s reactions to what you are doing.  Granted I’ve chosen to publicly blog this so I’m open to comments, but when people who are fatter than I was start criticising me for doing something about my weight, then quite frankly those people aren’t worth me educating on the subject.  Now I’ve ranted – let’s move on!

I went along to my Week 4 weigh-in last night.  It was a rapid experience, as my LLC is in sunny Spain so the session was taken by a Locum.  This basically meant, weigh, pay and leave.  I was out in 20 minutes, but to be honest, I was so tired last night I didn’t mind the lack of counseling session.

I’ve lost 5lb this week, which I’m happy with!  It is a little less that ideal (7lb would’ve given me a total of a 2st loss in the first month.) But regardless, I’ve lost 1^st 12lb in four weeks, dropping me from 19st 7lb to 17st 9lb.  The lightest I have been for some years I imagine.  I also feel better and my belly is shrinking away, in fact from the side view, I am starting to look like a well proportioned human-being!

My BMI has also dropped from it’s GP scaring 38.3 to 34.4 and as this drops, my health increases.  I’m starting to feel gradually fitter as well as lighter.  It won’t be long until I start bringing some exercise into my life!

As well as this, I got home from my meeting last night to be greeted by my lovely girlfriend Claire, who revealed to me that as a surprise reward for sticking to the plan rigidly for a month, has booked us two tickets tonight to go and see Michael McIntyre! (My favourite stand-up comedian) and anyone who knows my desire to be a stand-up will know he is one of my biggest inspirations so I’m very excited!

Thank you honey, I wouldn’t have made it this far without your support.

Thanks to everyone else who has been supportive too, friends and family

Starting my fifth week now – wish me luck!

S

Day 23: Week 3 (and other short stories..)

I’m now three and a half weeks into my Lighter life journey.  The time has flown by (except when I’m at work, naturally…zzz) and I’ve had plenty of up’s and down’s.  I can’t quite believe that by Monday, I will have not eaten any conventional food for a month.  That in my mind, is quite some personal achievement.  In the grand scheme of things it’s not going to change the world for the masses, but it’s certainly changing my life for the better.

I attended my third week weigh-in on Monday night, where I’d lost another whopping 6lbs.  Thats one and half stone loss in three weeks.  I’ve dropped from 19st 7lb to 18st.  I’m so surprised.  I mean 18st means I’m obviously still a big lad, but the physical sight of myself in the mirror is less revolting, I feel better about myself and my confidence is growing with every day.

Now as for how I’ve been since I last posted, it’s been a rollercoaster.  I’m not hungry in the sense that I feel I need food to get on with my life, however the occasional hunger pang brought on by thoughts of food or the smell of food is seemingly a common occurence at weekends.  Now when I feel hungry it is psychological rather than physical.  Now when I feel hungry, I feel really hungry.  It’s very difficult to explain but although I have the strength to not go and raid the kitchen, it’s very upsetting to not fulfill, such an apparently easily fulfillable desire.  It does only seem to be weekends though, when I’m not in a set routine and more often around others at meal times.  Saying that, I have just watched my girlfriend polish off chicken breasts with pancetta and mozzarella with potatoes. (Claire said sorry)  I’m going to have my chocolate foodpack in a minute though

Emotionally, along with those intense desires I’ve just mentioned, it’s been a tough few days.  Getting very stressed with my NVQ 4 and going to work in general has dragged.  Normally I’d have a couple of doughnuts or some dirty KFC to see me through but having only a foodpack to go on means I have to find other ways to deal with stress.  Mostly it has involved getting the hump.  Sorry everyone!

On a cheerier note, some of my clothes are now too big for me.  I’m still wearing them, I don’t have a choice at the moment, but some of my workshirts feel like parachutes and my trousers keep falling down.  Normally people wouldn’t be happy about that, but hell, it’s a good feeling!  I even managed to get into the Transformers T-Shirt my little sister (I say that, she’s 21) got me for Christmas last year.  It’s still a bit, snug, but I’m getting there.

I was measured Monday night by my LLC (on my request) and I don’t have the exact figures to hand, but I’ve lost about 4.5 inches off my waist, 1.5 inches off my neck and 4 inches off my chest.  In three weeks!

That is a big, physically noticeable loss.  That is what is keeping me going, and why I chose this way of doing things.  Any other diet, losing 1/2lb a week, I would have given up by now and have been back on the Unlucky Fried Kitten.

Have a good week everyone, thanks for the comments, keep them coming!

S

Day Fifteen: OMGWTF (2nd weigh-in)

I can’t quite believe it.  I’m actually starting Week 3 of the programme this morning and I feel like I’ve come so far in two weeks.

Things have been easier this past week, as I said in my last entry, the carb-withdrawal has disappeared.  I’m now fully in ketosis (burning body fat instead of the food I eat, for energy) and my clothes are getting gradually too big for me!

I went along to my second weigh in-last night.  I know its not good to put pressure on yourself to lose a certain amount, because it’s all to easy to become disheartened if you don’t hit that magic number, even if it’s only a pound less.  Nonetheless I went along last night secretly hoping for a 5lb loss, which would mean along with last week’s 9lb, I would have made a total loss of 1^st in my first fortnight on Lighter Life.

I lost 6lb! To say I’m relieved would be an understatement, I’m ecstatic – far more so than the 9lb from last week, hitting the 1^st mark was significant to me and getting a pound over just made me feel great.  I have now dropped from my starting weight of 19st 7lb to 18st 6lb and my BMI is dropping all the while alongside this.  Can’t argue with the figures, this programme works 100%.

Although the week has been a lot easier, to the point where thoughts of food barely cross my consciousness during the weekdays, the weekends are a different story altogether.  I’ve nailed the weekday routine of having my four foodpacks around my working day and even mostly managing my full quota of the four litres of water I need to be drinking daily.

During the weekend this all goes out of the window as the days have far less structure and things like lying in bed late (oops) come into play.  This means the spacing out of the packs is a lot less strict and it’s a case of as and when you can fit them in.  Plus I’ve had to endure my family eating two meals around me this past Saturday, which whilst their lives go on as normal, is a struggle.  Not once have I been tempted to break abstinence, but it’s surprisingly emotionally tough not being a part of family meals and enjoying what others have.  I’m not fighting hunger anymore, it’s simply desire.  Whilst it’s getting easier as days go by, I’m facing the real root of the problem now – the enjoyment I get from food.  That’s the hardest thing to overcome.

So from here on in, it’s all about keeping busy and filling up my weekends with things to do before I get to Saturday morning and lie in!  So this Saturday, I’m going to the Zoo!

 Week 3, here I come…

S

Day Seven: 1st Week Weigh-in.

Well, I can honestly say that days six and seven were actually easy. I haven’t felt hungry at all, I have felt more awake and alive in general and I can really see a difference in my face and neck when I look in the mirror, and my trousers are a little looser. My ‘beer gut’ is shrinking and I feel the programme has made momentum at last.

I went to my first week weigh-in last night, met with my LLC and paid £75 for my weeks worth of foodpacks (including one of the controversial toffee bars, apparently they are rank) and a tub of St Clements water flavouring so I can make my water taste a bit more interesting. Should last me a fair while though hopefully.

Anyway… on to the more important subject of my weighing. I tentatively stepped on the scale and found I’ve lost a whopping 9lb in my first week of Lighter Life.

Can’t argue with figures like that, well over half a stone in seven days.

I am noticing such a change in the mirror that I wonder whether or not if I go down 7st I might actually look too skinny. I’m going to play it by ear and see what I feel comfortable with. When I can fit into high street clothes and not have any wobbly bits, then I’ll have reached my target.

Thanks for all my support so far folks.

S